No! This is not about my failed marriages or relationships, although I guess it may have some bearing!

I am blessed in life with some very good friends and a number of them have visited me these last 4 months. It was an odd year 2022, made up of very different parts. For most of the early part of the year, I was alone at home with just Sara the dog. In some ways I was happy, to recover from the mass invasion of my family the previous year. My daughter, my son with his lovely wife and my grandkids and of course, my oldest brother accompanied my Mother to Bonaire to celebrate her 95th birthday here. Such wonderful times!

Then, everyone leaves! Both Sara and I were a bit confused as we tried to reestablish a daily regime. Cooking just for one (and maybe for the freezer). But the key thing that became obvious that was missing, was the end of day conversations . Even, when I was busy with guests, being a tour guide or cook and kitchen staff, I loved hanging up the drying cloth and sitting down for a conversation.

So the early part of 2022, was missing that conversation. But I replaced the conversation with picking out books from the shelves and reading every night. It gave a calming end of day wind down experience and I was content and calm.

As many of you may know, my Mother developed a cancer during 2022 and needed treatment. Whilst not life threatening, I decided to attend a family party in England in June to ensure I saw my Mother and all the family together. That took some planning, engaging friends to sit Sara and was a disruptive period to the daily regime ( I over worry things). Then my Mother passed and I flew back for her funeral, another hiccup in life.

So getting back to the story, I arrived back then the first of my guests. arrived. The Lovely Hermine stayed with me. Sadly she had health issues and we had poor weather. BUT we spent so much time just talking. Then she left and Steve (aka Grog) arrived. The conversation was so different as his holiday was all about doing DIY whilst Hermine was about finding calm and peace in the Post Covid freedom. So Grog and I would plan our jobs or congratulate ourselves on jobs done. Hermine and I reflected on life, love and careers.

So when Steve ran out of jobs, he left and was replaced by William. A virgin to Bonaire unlike the previous guests who have been here 4 or more times. Different discussions and plans. He encouraged me to get back into scuba diving which we shared on a few occasions. Also of course, the World Cup was in full swing, so we bought a TV and installed it at the bar. So the conversations were of a different nature, especially his language concerning the abundance of mosquitoes – we had had a lot of rain!

Shortly after Willian left, the average gap has been just 3 days, Bart arrived. A returning resident so the conversation changed. Still included football, centred a lot on cars ( we bought 2 and sold 2), but also about mutual friends, what has changed on the island etc. Bart is with me for another 9 days or so. But tonight he said he appreciated being able to talk with someone, albeit a smart piece of wood.

It’s just the act of talking that puts thoughts in order and brings peace to your mind. Often, you know the answer to your question, once you have said it. I hope this is true! Sara is a great listener, she is very well behaved and obeys most spoken commands. But she lacks those non verbal signs and communicative prompts such as Yes, I agree, or Ah ha! She often dozes off or worse still, licks her bum!

So in some ways I dread being alone again but also crave it. I have enjoyed the friendships so much, my catering has expanded, including fridge content management. But I am a single guy and I look forward to being selfish: swimming naked in the pool, having breakfast at 11:00 etc.

Sara and I will talk lots more, mainly as a disguise for any early dementia. To talk with others will demand my leaving the house or issuing invitations. But first a few days of being alone with Sara. All the rest is possible.

The conversation I miss the most: the Monday Skype sessions with my Mother. I still talk to her, when walking the dog or in my thoughts when I have done something that I think she should know, especially if she would be proud of me!