I have been thinking about writing this for ages. Never quite had it in my mind, still not sure.  Even the title has defeated me.  I was trying to find an appropriate version of Driving Miss Daisy, to include Sara the Dog or just to include an example of the driving habits on the island.

But let’s go with it!

I learnt to drive in England, have driven on either side of the road, officially or not, in many countries.  The last, being Germany, where I was encouraged to do a Meatloaf – drive like a Bat out of Hell on the Autobahns.  Amusingly the last day I drove in Germany in my own car, I got a speeding ticket!

Anyway, this is mainly about driving on a rock in the Caribbean.  So it should be chilled and no worries?  That is probably mainly true but it needs a little background.

We have a set of driving regulations, I believe not updated, written around 1954.  So such things as seat belts, drink driving, pedestrian crossings don’t actually appear. Also we have no annual car inspection or road worthiness tests.  So pretty lawless with any old thing that can move in front of you, coming at you etc which tends to go against the tranquil or trankilo idea.

So starting with the vehicles.  Never trust brake lights or indicators.  If they have them, not just rusted holes in the rear, they may not work and most people indicate, if at all, as they are going around the corner. Of course, driving at night may mean you can’t see the vehicle ahead of you as they have no reflectors or indicators to see where it may be going. On an old diesel, the exhaust cloud helps with their stealth mode.

Oh yeah!  The vehicles coming at you may be cheap imports from Asia with Right Hand Drive and non corrected headlights so you are blinded.  Their lights are not focused on the kerb but straight in your eyes.  And they are often fitted with fog lights ( we don’t get fog) which are really good at picking out pot holes.  Sadly they are looking in your direction and are completely unfocused.  So my night vision is deteriorating very quickly, not just through age and alcohol but by being burnt out.

I mentioned alcohol, so let’s go with that.  I understand the law says you shouldn’t drive if sick or too tired.  Nothing wrong with a few beers then?  I understand a previous Police Chief stated that drunk drivers were fine as they drove so slow and often just coasted into the ditch.  Another one is that the drunks drive straight, the sober ones weave to avoid the potholes.

There is a recent crackdown on drink driving; we are not sure how legal this is as the law does not preclude it.  But the results are quite reasonable.  You are allowed to continue if deemed capable enough, asked to leave your car or, in extremis, taken for a free night at the police station.  The last case must be difficult to reach.  I was at a bar one night when a car lurched into the car park, stalled to a stop, door opened and the driver fell out. After a while he got to his feet, approached the bar and bought 2 beers.  He drank one and took the other to his car.  With some difficulty, he reversed out and off.  All perfectly legal as long he was not running a temperature.

So this all sounds like mayhem! But mostly the trankilo element rules.  The speed limit in town is 40 kph and a lot of locals keep well below it. Well below it!  But no one, apart from recent immigrants and those who have not learnt to chill, are happy to potter along behind.  I think I have overtaken a car less than 5 times in almost 5 years and the same for being overtaken.

People blow their horns a lot.  Not like the French or Italians!  Just to say hello or to allow a car to pull out of a side road on to the main road in front of you.  The politeness is amazing, people say thank you, let you out, wait..They are a true inspiration.

But times may be changing.  Today I stopped to let a car out of a side road from the left.  There was a gap and then a lot of oncoming traffic so he had a chance if I waited.  The car behind me blew their horn, not a short thank you peep but a long angry blast.  It seemed like a Caucasian women.  I felt like stopping and asking her what her problem was.  But I took the Bonairean approach, I drove at 20 kph all the way in to town. She needed to learn to relax so I gave her some time to do so.

But this is a majority view.  We have young tearaways and complete a**holes too.  I think our accident rate is pretty high.  Maybe the death rate per accident is also high, due to a lack of seatbelts, airbags, structural integrity etc.  I don’t feel over safe at night driving, not due to my alcohol intake or my night vision but there are bicycles, goats, dogs donkeys, drunks out there and not well illuminated or controlled.

I heard yesterday about a speed trap set up by the Police.  This together with the 2 or 3 alcohol checks in the last months indicates a more controlled future.  This will be sad and I don’t expect many to understand.

There is a joy living a life on a tropical island where people wave and peep, don’t worry about form filling, too much bureaucracy, a laissez faire attitude to at least one aspect of life.  We cannot have vehicle inspections as 50% of cars would be illegal.  The poorer would never be able to import the parts to bring their cars to standard or import a replacement. So I vote for the current status which is imperfect but sociable.

And I thank God or whoever, I don’t live and drive on the Dominican Republic – did that and just survived.

Just a taste of driving here, I could write more and have obviously left some examples out.  But those who know can always leave a comment.