Trouble was part of my life for the last 16 years and so I think She deserves a few minutes of my time in remembrance. This may be a little emotional, I am not sure yet, but lets see how we go. I base my concerns upon my recent actions: last night found me having a last glass of rum, sitting by her new place of rest, reminiscing of old times and apologizing if I had caused her pain in the last hours.

Tierschutzheim.
Sorry for getting all Germanic on you but I need to start at the beginning. By all accounts, Trouble’s Mum lived on the wild side and Trouble was born in the woods. She was captured and brought to an Animal Rescue Centre which is where we found her, shortly after the passing of her distant cousin, Pickle. When we took custody, bailing her out, she was around 6 months old: half her life being in custody!

Traumatised
Having been born in the wild, the Tierschutzheim were concerned whether she would integrate with humans. Certainly, when she saw us, she displayed her mighty armory of teeth and claws, hissing at us through the bars of her cage. This was not a case of saying “How cute!” and falling in love at first sight.

However, the risk was taken and Trouble came home: the first of 3 homes in Germany.

At the time, we had a curved settee which sat in a corner, covering 2 walls. This became Trouble’s domain. Her food bowl at one end and litter tray at the other! At night, a trail of treats was laid to encourage out and slowly, day by day, she would venture further out.

It was some months later that she got onto the settee when it was occupied. Some time after that she colonised the lap of X2 (where X = previous spouse and the number denotes the order they acheived that role). The funny thing has been that Trouble never sat on my lap, apart from last week just before she died. However, I would often cuddle her; the duration going from seconds, until most recently, minutes.

A good friend of ours, Trouble and I that is, Elisabeth, who is a great lover of animals and possibly a cat whisperer, came to visit and wanted to see Trouble. This was very early days. We mentioned she was behind the settee and to be careful as she was very aggressive. But Elisabeth boldly went forward and leant over the settee to face a rocket propelled, claws clawing, screeching cat aiming for her face! Luckily, they did not connect then although, later in life, they were best of friends.

Terrified
Trouble, over time, became quite normal. Exploring house and garden, taking on the challenge of moving house in her stride. By the third house, she was out the backdoor and 10 metres up a walnut tree within days.

However, she was always a small cat and was terrified of other cats, putting up a token defence before bolting for the cat flap. Whether they were enemies or admirers, I was never quite sure but there were always suitors hanging around.

This avoidance of cats was also true for humans. X2 and I were the only real humans tolerated by Trouble. When we had guests, she left and hid. When we went on holiday, a neighbour would come in and feed her. They would report that, after 3 weeks, they had not seen Trouble but knew she was alive as food was eaten and litter tray filled.

Thinking of the future
With my retirement to the Caribbean looming, thoughts about taking Trouble to the Tropics or finding her a new home were going on. The likelihood of Trouble adapting to a new home were low, the unknown future with us held a lot of uncertainty. In the end, we decided Trouble would join us – in fact she left a week ahead of us.

Tropicalisation
When we were reunited on Bonaire, we found a terrified, over heated, panting cat. She voiced her displeasure all the way from Jella Stone Park (pet hotel run by Jella!) to her new home. She was completely freaked by overhead fans, doing a nervous tiger crawl across the tile floor. Of course, she hid under a bed and would only venture out for food or natures events.

Then after 2 days, she went onto the patio, down the garden, climbed the fence, over the wall into the empty overgrown plot and disappeared! Some 45 minutes later, I saw her climbing the fence, next to my bathroom, back onto our plot! Then back on the patio, yelling for breakfast!

Trouble was reborn. OK, it was completely different, no grass, strange lizards and Iguanas to look at it. However, the lack of grass, just gravel, turned our plot into the world’s biggest litter tray.

Socialisation
Trouble became so relaxed in her new home, scaling fences, creeping across the road, exploring empty plots that soon I thought she should have been born here! To see her sitting on our new apartment roof, nose to the wind, perhaps trying to seek an European odour on the Trade Winds was a joy to behold.

The new relaxed style was also enhanced by her new tolerance of Humans; she would now greet and talk to our guests and friends. She learnt to hang around the dining table, to wait for the BBQ to heat up, in all a sociable cat who had cast off her roots as an emigré and embrace a new life.

With the departure of X2, the household became reduced to 2. She became a reason to get up, to form a timetable of food bowls. But I was rewarded with companionship, the “twitter tail” when she would stand, tail upright and shake her hips. Or find me on the deck, rub up against me and flop on my feet, demanding attentions.

Tribulations
Sadly as I recovered and found my zest for life, the beginnings of dire times started for Trouble. Just a year ago, she had a stroke, rendering her blind. The treatment reduced her immune system and she caught pneumonia. With antibiotics, syringe feeding (for which I will ever remain thankful to Margot) Trouble regained her strength and ventured into a new dark world.

She amazed me with her bravery, travelling to all corners of the double plot, being found head into wind on the back of the furniture on the roof terrace still smelling the Trade Winds. She preferred me to walk ahead to the food bowl to aid her navigation but cat flaps were still in use. I would drive home, and having turned the car around, find her sitting on the path to say Hello! She was so brave and inspired me.

Terminal
Sadly, the brain damage was not repaired. Four months ago, she had a fit and recovered. Last month, the same but smaller time of health before the next reoccurrence. Last week, a brief recovery and then my heart could take no more. The Vet said, she had a powerful heart but the injuries to her head were too much.

I miss her presence, even the cat like decisions on when and what she would like to eat. The jealousy of acquiring a girlfriend and then insisting to share the bed, which was not the norm. The little chirp rather than Meow, the silent call, mouth open, pleading look with no noise.

Thanks
So, Little Girl, I hope I have said fair things. You break my heart with your leaving. I have a glass of rum and I will come and talk with you, just now