I’ve been thinking of writing something completely different, mulling it over in my mind, discussing with the voices, but it’s not ready yet.  I have always found I cannot write on demand, rather it suddenly just feels ready and so I write it.  Most often, it is then what I want to say and it comes out OK.

The piece I had in my mind is to try and explain myself and where I am. Not pleading for sympathy but being more positive in trying to say why I write, where I want to go and from where I start.   But that needs a little more thought.

Today I have been a little more motivated and have acheived a little progress in the garden. With our ongoing drought, there are lots of dry leaves, which do not rot, instead blowing and crackling across the white gravel covered garden.  They form piles against any obstruction and, of course, I take notice.  Then the voices and I feel guilty about not being motivated enough to tidy up.  But today, I cleaned up a large, burst sack of leaves with my sucker, powered up the blower and blasted the gravel clear, finally packing a large sack of leaves ready for the landfill.

So I have done some stuff, in temperatures of 34C (with a Real Feel of over 40C).  I feel a little tired today from the exercise which is good.  Also taking advantage of a cool down in teh pool was bliss.  Otherwise a very Sunday feel, just hanging around the house and not being over active.

So after a light dinner and a few hours of Netflix, I prepared for bed.   On the  way, I passed by my roof terrace.  Despite having given up my glasses, apart from driving, the view is great, the stars and street lights are perhaps not such sharp points but more of a fuzzy dazzle, but I can see them individually.  Especially, the stars which seem to drift around the sky until your brain understands that it is the clouds scudding across and the stars are still.

Silhouetted against the stars and clouds, I watched a nightjar hunting, twitching in flight, not smooth in one direction but readjusting for any new possible targets that it can pick out against the night sky.  The breeze on the roof is so refreshing, I was lying there thinking about moving a bed up there to sleep in the fresh breeze, devoid of mosquitoes.  I was just troubled should it rain! Or a strong gust would leave my bed linen hanging from a tree.

The experience is complemented by the sound of the wind in the trees, the rustle, like waves kissing a beach, of the palm fronds, the dogs, near and far, yipping, coughing, barking and grunting, the defiant bray of a wild donkey and strangely the cocks crowing!  It is just past midnight and they have hours to wait until dawn.

And then there is Trouble.  My cat is quite attached to me, particularly when food is involved.  But everytime  I visit the roof terrace, she follows me.  She seems to appreciate the moment as well as she will curl up next me and demand to be stroked.  So the companionship of my cat, the sights, the sounds and the feel of the breeze on my skin (yes I am topless!)  works better than any tranquiliser.  I feel ready to pass the hours in bed, dreaming of sleeping on the roof!

Quite magical!